Article by: NCADD Blog
Alcohol Fiend to Sobriety Queen
Tuesday, 25 July 2017
I can remember the first time tasting it and being hooked at 23 years old. All the feelings of insecurity, doubts and fears after the first taste were all removed. Alcohol had me feeling like SUPERWOMAN and I didn't want that feeling to ever leave me. From that day forward, everything I did included alcohol, from partying to going to the movies. It was my BFF, my man, my everything, for over ten years. It had given me what I thought was important, but it had stolen more than I could've ever imagined: thousands of dollars supporting my weekly habit; sexual engagement unprotected, often with strangers; dignity; self respect; family members dying as result etc. I lived my life this way for over ten years, self-medicating. Alcohol, the substance I started drinking and then ultimately became addicted to, was causing more pain than I was trying to mask. The substance I would do anything for wasn't serving me. I remember realizing my life was going to end because of my drinking. I knew I had to make a decision or else I wasn't going to live much longer. Besides, it had already sent all of my aunts and uncles as well as my mother straight to the grave.
I did what I knew how to do: I prayed. I told God, "I need you to take the taste out of my mouth -- if not I won't make it." What I didn't expect was, for God to respond so fast. So, of course, I followed my normal routine. The next day I went to the liquor store and got my pint of Long Island Ice Tea. I poured me a glass in the cutest wine glass I had. I took a sip and almost choked to death. It was as if my throat had completely closed. I remember coughing to try and catch my breath, because in my mind the first time the alcohol had just gone down wrong. As soon as I could breathe again, I took another sip and instantly choked again. This had never happened to me before, but then again I never asked God for help with my drinking. I remember crying and saying “Okay God, I hear you.”
It's been three years, I've been sober and it feels AMAZING. I won't lie -- in the beginning it truly felt like I was parting with a good friend. But the truth is that alcohol was never my friend. It caused a lot of trouble in my life and contributed to a lot of pain.
What I would say to someone facing the same struggle as I have? You are the only person who can get tired of being tired, and whenever you do you won't regret it. In fact, in the future you will thank the old you because the two of you now can reach back and help someone else on their journey, just as I pray my story has. Having the opportunity to begin a new day sober and live an authentic life, all while showing women around the world that what is possible in sobriety is motivation.
I have been sober for three years and counting. Today, I am the owner of a few successful businesses that are birthed from my sobriety: Queens of Sobriety Club, which mentors women in sobriety or seeking sobriety to live an enriching life to recover, rebuild and thrive in sobriety; Cocktails with Chocolate, a professional non-alcoholic beverage service; and Bottled Mocktails, which helps to continue to spread the message of sobriety using our slogan "Have a ball without alcohol."
It is my desire to share my story all over the world in hopes of inspiring others to fight for their lives and live out their God-given purpose.
East Orange, NJ
Article by: Sober Alley
Can you share a little about yourself?
My name is Connie McMillan aka Sobriety Queen. I am a survivor of alcohol use and abuse four years and counting. I help women around the world to Recover, Rebuild and Thrive in Life Sober while breaking generational curses in their families. Some of the ways are with my courses, mentor membership, and eBooks.
My life is filled with love from my 4-year-old son, Chance (fur baby with 4 legs) lol. I enjoy spending my time learning and reading as it helps to stretch my mind in sharpening as a leader. We all know Readers are Leaders.
Today I am the Sobriety Queen but for over ten years I was the Alcohol Feen. Everything I did included alcohol, from the people, places, and things I did it all involved being lead by alcohol. Including being married to my former husband who I stayed with for 11 years.
Can you share your experience with alcohol?
Alcohol had a hold on me something terrible. And it wasn’t trying to let me go nor was I trying to break free. I believed that I was in control of this substance and boy oh boy did I find out the hard way just how much I wasn’t in control.
I can remember a time I went out with friends to celebrate their birthday. This night my alcohol abuse brought me to the highest level of shame ever. I would always drink before I got to the club. I remember wearing a black fitted dress and having several drinks once I arrived. I had been there for about an hour. I remember saying hello to a gentleman who worked at the facility I was doing my internship for my undergrad. He had been drinking with his boys.
The next thing I remember feeling like I was having as if I was having an outer body experience because I saw myself engaging in sexual activities with this same gentleman and then it was truly happening right inside the club in front of everyone. The shame I felt the next day when my friends told me what I had done couldn’t compare to the photos I saw with my own eyes. There I was drunk breast exposed and just allowing myself to be treated with such disrespect publicly. It was beyond embarrassing. But guess what, I didn’t stop drinking alcohol. Why? Because I had to cover that pain and shame too.
How did you know it was finally time to stop drinking?
The final day came in Jan 2014. I remember because I nearly died and would have surely met my mother in heaven. In early January on a Saturday evening, I did what I usually did, I had my LIT (Long Island Ice Tea). Because I was a bartender (yes, I have a license too) we use to put the wine glasses in the freezer to get chilled. I did the same at home. This particular night I had just removed my glass from the freezer and poured a glass, took a sip and nearly choked to death.
I remember coughing because I couldn’t catch my breath. At first, I just thought the alcohol went down the wrong pipe. So as soon as I could breathe again I took another sip and the exact same thing happened — I nearly choked to death.
I had enough sense to know something was happening. I thought to myself, God is trying to tell me something. And I wasn’t going for a third attempt.
That evening I poured the rest of my alcohol out and never picked up again. I will tell you I cried like a baby because in my heart I knew God was saving my life. I had asked him for help before but this time he answered. It was just before my mom died. I couldn’t understand why God had saved me at the time but once my mom died (who was also an abuser of alcohol) I knew then, God was telling me, “Connie, now you have a chance to break the generational curses in this family” And from that day forward I’ve never drunk again.
What was your biggest challenge with getting sober, and how did you overcome it?
One of my biggest challenges was living in the same environment that was connected to my alcohol use and abuse and being around the same company. To stay sober I had to remove myself physically. I moved from Brooklyn, New York to East Orange, NJ and I must add it wasn’t my choice. I was searching for a new apartment on Craigslist (before all the scam artists) and clicked on a picture of a beautiful apartment with a sunken living room. I always loved those kinds of apartments. I was sold and that’s how I ended up here in New Jersey where I’ve lived for 6 years now.
What is the best advice you can give to someone who is struggling with alcohol abuse?
My advice to someone who is struggling with alcohol abuse, if you’re ready to be free from alcohol it’s possible by just making the first step and admitting you need help. [bctt tweet=”Sobriety doesn’t have to be done the traditional way because today there are so many options, but you must be willing to fight for your right to be free.” username=”CWCOWNER”] It’s a process it won’t happen overnight but so long as you stick with it, it’s bound to stick to you.
Share with us three people in the sobriety or personal development space you recommend checking out?
3 Sober Queens that I truly love and admire for being World Changers:
Do you celebrate your sober anniversary in any special way?
The best way I celebrate my anniversary is by sharing with my audience the before, now and the future of sobriety. I never want them to see the number of sober years I’d much rather them see the constant journey I am on and become inspired to join the movement.
Where can we find you on the internet?
As mentioned previously, I am a licensed bartender and the Sobriety Queen Mixologist of New Jersey. My company, Cocktails With Chocolate offers mobile service and bottled products for all events for individuals to: Have a ball without alcohol.
Feel free to visit us at:
10 Prominent Women in Recovery You Should Follow